losing my education technology paper (this sucks)

I'm so mad I could spit! I wrote my philosophy and I could swear I saved it on the computer but now I can't find it. I must have typed it and then forgotten to save it and the crummy part of it all is I can't remember what I wrote! I have a thing with my brain (seriously, I am bipolar) and it just won't let me remember things sometimes. Now I'm going to have to do it over and I'm not sure what to say! I've got to get back in that frame of mind, I guess, I just don't have very long to do it in. What a bitch. I'm so so so so so mad at myself. Sometimes I just do the stupidest things. Everything was totally different than it was in my blog. I completely changed it from what I wrote about educational technology in the blog. I just wish I could remember what it was. I should've written it down then at least I'd have some idea what to write about.